It’s March 11th, which almost definitely means that people have abandoned New Year's resolutions, failed at them or completely forgotten what they even set themselves. In line with this the gyms would be returning to their usual quieter state (in a pandemic-free world), people are back on the drink for a Friday/Saturday night and the book you started on 2nd January is still only on page 97 out of 562. But you know what, it’s OK! We don't need to achieve everything we could ever desire in the 'new year'.
It's probably no surprise that I’ve never been a huge one for making New Year’s resolutions. They personally don’t motivate me much more than setting goals at any other time of year, but they remain a popular tradition. Something I’ve never understood though is why we continue each year to come up with an elaborate selection of resolutions which involve a significant amount of work and change (but of course will supposedly make us a more successful person), to only end up leaving the year feeling that we need to set them again. It’s quite the cycle. Surely it’s more beneficial to only set goals when we genuinely feel that they are going to have a positive impact on us? If that's July, no biggie. I'm thinking less 'new year, new me' and more 'new year, same me (will set my own rules as I go)'.
Plus, the older we get, the more likely it is that these supposed resolutions will be genuine life changes. And I've come to realise that things of that nature don't really happen on a 'I'm going to start in January and get it done by the end of December' basis. More often that not, it's 'spur of the moment, all happened so quickly that I can't really comprehend how, but here I am'. As I said in one of my first articles, 99% of the time we're just winging it.
I think this way of thinking has come from the prevalence of the past year. 2020 meant a complete pause on the normal routine for everyone, if not exactly then definitely in the sense that a complete spanner was thrown in the works of how we envisaged the year panning out. Everything was flipped upside down and those coveted New Year's resolutions most likely dwindled in feasibility. It would be easy to look back and feel full of regret for wasting days, and trust me I did a lot of that featuring a few too many 'tomorrow will be a productive day' talks.
But I’ve realised that expecting yourself to become a superhero who swiftly comes up with a plan and impresses everyone with what they do is not the reality. I've become more familiar with: panic, do nothing because there’s so much time and then panic some more because it's suddenly March 2021.
Even if we find something good to do for ourselves, a 'resolution', we'll always worry about what others think since they seem to be embracing the situation 100 times better. We love to do a whole load of comparing ourselves to others when handling anything which means it’s far too easy to follow what that person with 782k Instagram followers is doing because it seems right. And, real talk – ever noticed how it’s always the same New Year's resolutions floating around each year? Everyone tends to attempt the same realm of things, and the dreaded cycle repeats itself.
Setting weight loss goals, distances they want to run, life accomplishments they want to reach, places they want to visit... and now March has come around they might just be seeing some of it come to fruition which is always a bit annoying as someone who didn't set any. But genuinely – good for them. This doesn't however mean that we all have to do any of that because they are and if we don’t want to, don't! There’s no rule book that specifically says January is the only month for future goal setting.
Ironic note on this crazy social media world: I started sketching out an idea for this blog brand back in November 2020, and things tied together in such a way that I was feeling ready to launch in January. In all honesty though, I couldn't face competing with the other new ventures, challenges, resolutions (whatever you want to brand them as) and try to be heard as something genuinely more long-term amongst them. Because of the inevitable positive hype that I knew social media would be for the month, I re-thought my strategy and launched in the middle of February.
But really, just getting through the year as you and reaching today as your true self, not an attempted different version, is a huge accomplishment. I think 2020 was a year for realisation…
oh god...
was Kylie Jenner really onto something back in 2016 when she released that infamous ‘realising things’ New Year’s resolution video?
OK... now the panic has subsided, here's what I really mean.
Having everything stripped away so suddenly has made me look back and realise that, actually... I didn't lose ‘everything’, rather I was left with everything important: my family, friends and home. In the midst of this however, people tend to focus on the negatives and how they can better them in the next year because they seem far more apparent than the positives. That's not to say that people haven't experienced change or loss in unfathomable volumes, but as someone who’s been furloughed and therefore taken a mortgage out in the town of uncertainty-ville, I’m looking back on 2020 and feeling thankful for what I do have. Most importantly, I’m looking at what I’ve learnt about myself as a person and carrying that forward instead of enforcing other changes on myself.
Plus, if the end of a year is the time to assess ourselves individually, shouldn't it be about how we personally want to approach the year? If that’s with nothing new, great. If that’s with something so small that it seems irrelevant and totally unconnected from what the focus is for 90% of other people on Instagram, even better. A small and easy goal that helps me feel more like me is far more impressive than something unattainable with no true value to my actual wellbeing, but heaps of value for my public perception.
I think it’s great to reflect on the year at the end of it, because it makes us realise just how much we usually have done without realising it. Time passes by quickly so slowing down and reminiscing over memories made is always nice. There will always be regrets of ‘things I could have done’ or ‘what if I had seen them more’ – but I’m trying to use these to push me into the next year as opposed to setting a list of rigid resolutions. Being thankful for everything I do have and owning my previous choices (even if I don’t necessarily feel proud of them), because nothing will erase them, is bound to be a healthier outlook.
I believe we're too harsh on ourselves sometimes. Small changes can mean big things, regardless of the time of year we decide to make them.