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It’s OK if the idea of reverting to normal life is scary

The potential end of Covid-19 could bring less obvious emotions to the surface for some people – and that's fine.

I feel like I’ve completely adjusted to this new pandemic lifestyle, as much as it can drive me round the bend, it’s certainly been long enough for my body to programme itself to the new settings. Humans can definitely be creatures of habit. Do something for long enough and it becomes a routine and once it’s a routine, it will just keep happening so it becomes familiar and eventually it’s totally normal. But in the progressing dawn of hope that the population of our country will soon be vaccinated and Covid-19 will one day be a distant memory, albeit one that’s hard to forget, our old lives will be back.

But, plot twist – I can't help feeling that this isn't 'scream it from the mountains', 'plan your 21st June outfit now', 'immediately chat to everyone about the summer' kind of excitement for everyone. For all the negatives this pandemic has presented, coming out of it is likely to bring a heap more to some people.

Just like changing everything overnight to adjust to the ‘new normal’ was challenging (I’m sorry, I promised myself I wouldn’t use one of the horrendously overused clichés and I gave in so quickly), it will be just as challenging, if not more so, to adjust to what we used to call ‘normal’. That old life has become more alien than we ever would have imagined.

Those things we were subconsciously used to always having were taken away, but will now at some point be given back, and not everyone will share the same feeling of excitement. Even the simplest things, such as socialising with others professionally or casually, haven’t happened for many people in what feels like forever. So now, simply conversing with another person could be a daunting prospect for some, regardless of how confident they felt before. At first, the fear was of everything suddenly being put on hold, but the new fear may well be that everything will soon start up again as quickly as it's been stopped before.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend this crazy time at home with Jordan who has been my absolute support-system, so my heart goes out to those who haven't had that physical presence which for me has been crucial. Going from limited, almost non-existent, human contact to what feels like an overhaul of it is sure to be weird.

At the moment, the media is full of positive messaging around how great it will be to ‘finally’ get back to normal ‘at long last’ and how this is what ‘everyone’ has been waiting for. Truth be told, these seem to be the autofill phrases in every conversation too. The media has a far stronger grip on people than I'd contemplated before 2020; it's easy to get swept up in it and feel wrong for not quite being on the same page, or for choosing to watch Netflix with a huge bar of chocolate at 17:00 instead of watching the daily news briefing that everyone seems to know word for word.

While I'm on the topic of Government news briefings, don't you love how much the sh*t sandwich communication technique is used? They always seem to begin with some news of improvement or praise before eventually landing on the bad news and swiftly finishing up with some positivity about how we will get through this. I don’t blame them, it’s a full-proof strategy used in businesses across the board. But it’s definitely something I’ll now know to be wary of, especially with further updates as we come out of this place and enter the next stage.

But in my opinion, to feel differently to others, maybe even scared about converting back to the life that used to be or not wanting it to happen just yet is TOTALLY fine. I reckon more people are feeling this way than it seems. Feeling like an anomaly is hard, so this is sure to be adding to an already high pile of worries people may be harbouring about this change. Being able to speak about it without being judged should absolutely be possible, and may alleviate some worry, especially if others can relate. It’s important to not judge ourselves harshly or feel that we aren't responding in the correct way based on what others are doing.

To be fearful of the incoming return to normal life as someone who doesn’t have any health issues (which carry a higher risk of catching the virus) does not make you selfish, I believe it makes you a normal human. Wanting the virus to be gone and life to be Covid-19 free is one thing, but the huge change in life tempo that comes with it is a totally different thing and it’s OK to not particularly want that aspect.

Personally, I’m fed up with Covid-19 and will be the first to bid it good riddance, and I’ve also been lucky enough to not particularly fear catching it for myself because the odds suggest I would be OK. I am however fully aware that someone in an equally fortunate position might be apprehensive of the end for various reasons, particularly how it impacts the everyday situation they’ve become so accustomed to. Yes, the stupidly late nights followed by 12 snoozes we've been able to hit on our alarms every morning might be changing. But really, our own situations are exactly that, they are solely ours, and this virus has impacted everyone differently. There is nobody that hasn't been affected in some way but the circumstances, severity, personal changes, mental health impact and so much more will be different for every individual both in the midst of a lockdown and during the changeover to a post-Covid world.

I think it all comes down to leaving that comfort blanket again. This time, being in isolation with ourselves or our nearest and dearest has become normal and staying in is absolutely the new going out (but boring me isn't hugely mad about this; although 'the pandemic' will no longer be a valid excuse to be a happy introvert from time to time). Moving away from this and starting a new way of life again is a big change.

For many, finding a new comfort blanket could take time – it absolutely can be done – but everyone will have a different pace. When we are once again allowed to enjoy a meal out or trip away that so many have missed, these places are sure to feel much busier (or just plain different) than we may have remembered. If a friend says they can’t come out because they aren't in the right headspace yet, I plan to consciously understand this and not instantly be offended that they don’t want to see me after all this time.

It’s common knowledge that the majority of humans are scared of the unknown, like the classic situation in a horror film when we’re made to feel adamant that something is going to happen but what, when or how is horrendously unclear. And then that first shower afterwards becomes a risky game of not letting either eye close while submerged in shampoo because, quite obviously, that ghost that was hanging around but didn't jump out in the film will choose our shower as the opportunity to make an appearance. Just like this classic horror technique however, nobody can tell us for certain what life will be like when we are released from the cages our homes have become; there is sure to be forewarning, but until it's actually happened, we'll never know. Not knowing how to prepare in order to make the transition as smooth as possible is bound to be hard for some.

Many people will also look back over this craziness and feel that they could have done so much more with the downtime, which in turn can cause feelings of not wanting it to end quite yet. I feel that I could have accomplished so much more, no doubt about it, but it’s important to move past these thoughts and think of them as lessons as opposed to regrets. I plan to try and not live in the past, amongst all of the ‘what I could have done with those extra hours but instead I watched a crazy amount of Netflix’ feelings. Nothing can be changed, and I for one wouldn't blame anyone for spending their year in loungewear watching television!

Instead, now that thoughts of what we did or didn't do are actually plausible because the end is somewhat in sight, let’s try and focus on ourselves in the present and what we hope to accomplish in the future as we progress out of this. If that’s purely managing to get out to the shops alone and buy some shoes because this is a far scarier prospect than before Covid-19, brilliant! Everyone will need to do things in their own way. I definitely feel that my outlook on things will be different moving forward because of what has been removed from my life this year, but hopefully this new awareness can make the adjustment to ‘normal’ life that bit easier.

If there’s one thing to do as the end of Covid-19 starts to come into fruition, I think it should be simply remembering that some people will be struggling with the concept more than others. It’s about respecting people’s choices even if they don’t match what you’re choosing to do.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel comfortable, but also confident. This goes for all the time, but when things go back to normal after Covid-19 this is even more crucial.