Something everyone will have experienced by now, as we’re comfortably past the scary one year anniversary of this bizarre lockdown-filled reality, is a birthday during a pandemic. Back when we all thought Coronavirus would be buried by the time summer 2020 came around, we felt sorry for those who had a birthday in spring. How wrong we were.
Celebrations as we know them have essentially been banned. BUT, drinking your favourite cheap (but remarkably tasty) wine while surrounded by copious amounts of your favourite food is not banned. In fact, this is encouraged. Although these birthdays have become the norm, some people maintain a largely negative frame of mind towards them, while others might secretly be pleased beyond what they are willing to admit and everyone else is firmly heading up the ‘It’s just how it is’ group.
It could be argued that a lockdown birthday is ideal for all the introverts out there, like a weirdly helpful ‘Get out of jail free card’. A birthday with tons of eyes fixated on you and the present awkwardly balancing on your lap as friends’ of friends whose names you don’t remember film the entire moment for an Instagram story is sheer hell for some people. Equally, for someone who might be feeling a little nervous about turning a particular age (cue season 7, episode 14 of Friends: ‘The one where they all turn 30’), the lockdown birthday provides a perfect opportunity for a strict fuss-free policy.
Some people like to make a big deal out of every birthday, some people only make a fuss about the significant ones and others want zero attention on any birthday. But since March 24th 2020, we’ve all had no choice but to not make any fuss of our birthday, whichever it happens to be.
As a shamefully good moaner, my lockdown birthday was surprisingly not something that qualified for a moan-athon. The pandemic itself - now that is deserving of the moan of all moans - but when looking back, I think I just saw my birthday as another day within this never-ending groundhog scenario we haven’t yet broken away from. It’s not like the pandemic was ever going to magically disappear in time for my special day, or take a break while Tony down the road celebrates his 50th in style with a beer pong in the local community hall with a bunch of friends.
This is of course with the exception of many Hollywood celebrities; they must be immune from the virus given that an elaborate party with huge guest lists and zero social distancing is OK for them… Yep. I fell into the dark hole of a ‘45 Celebrities and Influencers who partied during the COVID-19 pandemic’ article when researching for this. I’m not going to risk boring you with my rant on this topic or sounding like a broken record, but I will say it’s especially annoying when the people doing this are people whose work you actually like.
Anyway… for all us regular people, a birthday in a pandemic is exactly that: it’s a birthday. A birthday that happens to be during a global pandemic which ultimately means it’s another identical day to every other pandemic day we’ve experienced.
Admittedly, some people have been far luckier than others when it comes to which birthday (and how many now that we’re past the first 365-day cycle) has fallen alongside Coronavirus. Let’s take Jordan for example, he’s been one of those people to have had two birthdays in a full blown lockdown. And I’m talking about the, ‘Stay home, don’t even see a friend for a flask of gin in the park’ kind of lockdown.
But in all honesty, I didn’t pull all the stops out for it, not even close. A lot of people seem to be going overboard because they aren’t celebrating in their usual way (and to get the on-trend Instagram shot surrounded by decorations of course). But if there’s anything to be taken from this article at all, it’s that a perfectly proportioned balloon arch is not the measurement scale of how much someone cares. I don't think the exclusion of these things makes me boring (at least I so hope Jordan agrees if he's reading this).
I made a joke to Jordan the night before his birthday saying that I needed to do a last-minute order for some elaborate balloons with his name on and cover the flat in them. Luckily he laughed, because nothing remotely close to this had been planned. His Moonpig card wasn’t even scheduled to arrive until the day after his birthday… whoops. We’re not hugely materialistic in that sense. Yes, this birthday (and the one before) was different for Jordan, but I didn’t decide to ramp everything up in an attempt to balance out the separation between ‘normal’ birthday expectations and the pandemic reality.
Being in the midst of young adult life when in a long-term relationship with a pandemic thrown in results in a combination of not needing to put much material effort in for things like this, along with not really wanting to because we somehow need to save a load of money too.
There’s also an unfamiliar sense of guilt from celebrating in any style at this time when countless other people are struggling in a multitude of ways. I suppose this is pertinent outside of a pandemic too because for every good or bad day we have, there’s bound to be a ton of other people experiencing the complete opposite. But when it’s something we’re all grappling through together, it feels weird because we know that everyone else is feeling… well, that crazy wave of emotions the pandemic can bring. Add this to the sudden realisation of turning a whole year older while the world remains in a weird standstill and you have the complete recipe for not-quite-knowing-how-to-feel.
It’s almost like adding an extra year onto our age seems like a waste this time round; can’t we just skip this one and add two on next time instead? We’re a year older in a world where we can’t develop as we normally would.
But birthdays are a time to be thankful for… well, life I suppose. And what could be more fitting to this than the crazy pandemic? To have another birthday means being safe, well and here. And at the moment, that’s something I’m especially thankful for.
I can’t help thinking that the beauty of a pandemic birthday is actually the very thing people tend to moan about the most: the lack of any usual celebrations. Does it make the birthday less exciting? Or does it mean that we get to spend time with just the people closest to our hearts? If the general consensus from social media is anything to go by then it’s bound to be the former, but there’s surely something important to learn from the latter.
The day is spent physically (or virtually) with only the people who actually care. Those who will go out of their way to just chat with you. They aren’t bothered about having a drink in one hand, a questionable sausage roll in the other and an elaborate celebration put on by you for you (but ultimately for them to enjoy as well). With the removal of all this, the people who send a little something in the post or send a personal message that none of their however-many Instagram followers will see, truly do care. That’s pretty cool. And it's bound to be something we'll remember when celebrating future birthdays once the pandemic is (eventually) a distant memory.
There have been many years that I’ve responded, "Just a quiet day with family, nothing fancy" when asked what I’m doing for my birthday. So really, it’s not been that different.
I’ve said it in previous posts and I’ll say it again, there is beauty in the simplest of things, and I think a lockdown birthday could just be one of them.